Friends With Benefits Explained

A few weeks back I promised my home girl Michelle that I would take her to the cinema to watch that Justin Timberland (as Mum says) film ‘Friends With Benefits’. I kind of flopped her and then tried making it up to her by inviting her round to watch it on my laptop, but the copy was poor. She wasn’t impressed. So that day we ended up doing something else.

I finally managed to get a good copy from Ming Xaio Leng Pei (The Chinese man that sells DVDs in my barbershop).

Oh and ‘Ming Xaio Leng Pei’ isn’t actually his name - he just looks like one.

Anywaaay, Michelle and I watched the film and it made me think.

Can friends with benefits really work?

They say there are two types of people…

Type 1: The person that yearns for the married lifestyle. The person that loves the commitment of a true relationship. The person that is happy to look after someone else. The person that loves love.

Type 2: The person that claims they’re just having ‘fun’. The person that is trying to get as many conquests under their belt so they can brag to all their friends. The person who claims they’re a player until someone comes and changes them. It never happens.

But what about the person in-between the two?

The majority of my male AND female friends are somewhat the ‘in-betweeners’.

Okay, if you’re confused as to what an ‘in-betweener’ is let me break it down…

There are people that want to go out and ‘sleep’ with someone without the headache that relationships bring and at the same time they may not want to go round sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Fanny.

Where do they stand? Are they supposed to just not have sex? Should they just Maths Debate?

This is where your Friends With a Benefit comes in handy, kind of like one of the lifelines on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.

Imagine how great life would be if every time you didn’t have an answer to something you could just choose the option to Bone Phone a Friend?

Just to clear things up before we go further, there is a huge difference between a fxck buddy and a Friend With Benefit.

Fxck buddies are people used for sex. You sleep with them, they leave, that is all there is to it. You don’t care about their Mum, you don’t care about how their day was, and you don’t care about anything except “are you coming over and do you have a way to get home before the morning!?”

So now that we’ve cleared up that common misconception. Let me briefly explain why I like the whole Friends With Benefits concept.

The keyword in ‘Friends With Benefits’ is not the ‘Benefit’ part. It’s the ‘friend’. You care about this person, you open up to this person and you can depend on this person. You call them to see how their day was, you lend them money and you may even call them for advice on another person you may currently fancy. The only thing that separates this person from the rest of your mates is mind blowing SEX!!

Anyway my room mate wants me to help him assemble some silly new table for our flat.

So I’m going to cut this short but the moral of story is Friends With Benefits are not as bad as they are made out to be. Just use a condom and everything will be fine.